Articles

Bullying and How It Can Affect Your Life

By: Kristen L. Baker
Copyright: 2010

As long as I can remember, bullying has taken place in our society, from school-aged children to adulthood. with the recent news about the young girl who took her own life in massachusetts because of being bullied, something needs to happen in our schools, work places and within each individual.

as I reflect back into my elementary years, i now identify that what was taking place was bullying.  there was a young girl who i have thought of more than once over the years that really stood out to me. she was a girl whom had some disabilities, mentally and phsycially.  the kids on the playground were unkind and made fun of her and threw cran apples at her.  she would get very angry and upset and I can still see the pain on her face as I write this.  this young girl, she was not a friend of mine, but i can remember going to her aid when these things transpired and told the kids to stop.  it was cruelty in definition.  By going to defend her, I opened myself up to ridicule as well but It had to be done.

this young girl had enough struggles in her life to have children bullying her and I am sure to this day, she remembers it.

b ullying doesn’t just go away as you grow older.  the words you heard last a life time. we all know that kids can be cruel for many different reasons, insecurity, jealousy, trying to be cool and so on, but what is missing is the accountabilty that these bullies have, there is none.  in our schools today, they claim a zero tolerance, but I myself can assure you this is not the case.

my son was bullied from grade 1 to grade 4. numerous trips to the school’s principal, with nothing being done. the bullying was not only words but phsycial as well and it was never taken seriously.  As a parent, i tried everything I could to have my son understand that it was not him that was wrong, it was the one whom was causing the harm.  the steps my son’s school took to “HANDLE” this was more of a punishment for my son who was the one being bullied.

Being bullied not only affects a person in the short term, but long term as well.  the inner critic that was fresh in their minds while they were being bullied creeps in through out life.  Self esteem becomes a struggle and avoidances happen and depression can result.

There is nothing positive about bullying anyone whether it is face to face, behind the back, texting, social media, there is nothing that can be accomplished on either side.

AS a LIFE coach, i work with many adults that were bullied as young children and the pain that still lingers is immeasurable. As i have heard some describe what they went through years ago, the emotions are as fresh as they were then, AND HEARBREAKING. the feelings do not just end when we grow older, the memories, the SADNESS; the inferior feeling manifests itself into adulthood in many ways that can be destructive to ones life.

As we all know and have heard millions of times in our lives, kids are cruel, there is comptetition, envy, lack of confidence and respect for peers that feeds a bully.  in this age of the busy life, parents have got to take some responsibility for their children’s actions and teach them what it can do to a person.

The techonology that has surfaced has made bullying something that some cannot get away from.  it has to stop, if each child, teen and adult put themselves in the shoes of the bully victim, just maybe it would make them think twice.  “sticks and stones may break my bones, but Words will never hurt me.” this is wrong, words do hurt and this young girl’s loss of LIFE IS just another reminder. 

It is tragic that a beautiful young girl that had everything going for her had to lose her life because she could nolonger handle the pain that kids were causing her. this should be a wake up call for every school in our world.  bullying is serious business and life shattering.  accountability has got to be in place.  there must be disciplines in place in schools and the work places.  there has to be a true zero tolerance. 

In the Newspaper today, another Victim of Bullying in NH took his life.  What is this telling us people?  Things need to change and NOW! Each and every student, co-worker and each person on this planet DESERVE to be treated properly, with respect, without cruelty.  It has to start at home and must continue into the schools, work places and help from an adult and don’t stop until a punishment is given. 

 Social situations.  No more excuses, this has to STOP; too many lives are being lost or are being damaged by bullying.

My question is, what makes anyone have the right to think they are better than someone else, no matter what age. I swear I learned in School that everyone was created equal, why is there so much hatred? Sure not everyone looks alike or has the same clothes or cars or houses, but everyone is equal and if bullying is not stopped it is just another civil liberty that is being taken from us. 

The responsibility lies on everyone in this fight against bullying, Teachers, parents, siblings, STUDENTS, co workers, managers, everyone. there are laws in place to punish the one who steals, WELL; the bullies are stealing people’s lives, happiness, self- esteem and their right to live a normal life.  There has to be strict punishments involving the law to combat this horrific behavior.

for the victims out there, stand up for YOU and never let the bullies win.  you don’t deserve IT; the bullies are the ones that have the problems, not you.  My condolences for every family that has been afflicted with bullying and for their losses.  We can change the faces of bullies and stop THIS; it must be an ongoing effort.  Tell your children you love them often and educate them on what to do if they are being bullied, nobody has to sit back and take it.  Never use violence to stop bullying, get help from an adult and don’t stop until a punishment is given. 

please don’t hesitate to email me if you want to join the fight to stop bullying.